Relationships can be challenging at any time. But cooped all day with your loved ones! Yes you love them, but you all know what buttons to press to get an explosion! Ok it was fun at the time but now. Ha, let’s build some bridges. How are your relationships? Did they deepen with more time together or crack under the strain of 24/7 contact?
What’s does this tell you about yourself? We can always learn from all situations. Emotions are fleeting rush of joy, the frustration, bit of sadness. It can be interesting just to sit quietly with yourself sometimes and watch your emotions play out. When it comes to feelings they are deeper and normally based on needs either not being met or being met. An example of this could be the need to eat. You feel irritable and slightly anxious. You find some food my may feel joy and contentment. Of course these feeling may be different to each time you feel hungry and then are sated.
When it comes to more complex feelings such as love, desire and intimacy look towards what your needs are. Be honest and express your need to your partner or friend and you’ll be surprised at how they will be able to offer help and support.
At this time of social distancing the lack of touch is affecting a lot of people. You on really notice how much you get something when it becomes absent. If you are in a relationship and the same house hold you still may be receiving touch. If you used to hugging friends when you greet them this need for touch may not being getting met due to the rules about keeping two metres away from people from different households. Take time to notice what your feelings are around this and how they affect the quality of that relationship. Being aware of how you’re feeling and your needs allows you to react consciously. Think about how you can replace the physical hug or handshake. Try an air hug reach arms out to one another them wrap them around yourself in a hug. Keep eye contact while doing this and it can be incredibly connecting. Replace a handshake with an ankle tap. Each party raises their right foot of the ground and taps the ankles together. The quality will be different and it may not meet your need for physical contact with that other person but will meet the need to maintaining a social bond.
What if your feelings have changed towards your partner? It’s time to think about what you wish to happen. Honesty is important in all relationships and it builds trust. We never know what some else is thinking or feeling without asking them. Even in long standing relationships our inner worlds are not visible. We can get a sense of what we think they may be feeling but that is filtered through our experiences. So ask them! And if you are being asked be honest the other person is really interested and honest communication allows you both to have a clear conversation.
If you wish to explore your feelings before talking to someone seek out a trusted friend. This is something we have done in time immemorial. If you wish to talk to someone impartial when not talk to a coach. Coaches have lots of experience of relationship issues and you can be sure that all the conversations are confidential allowing you to explore your deepest desires or fears.